Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas. And what a fine time Christmas is for stuffing your face with cheese!
Well with Gorgonzola we're wrapping up the stilton type family of cheeses for now.. To be honest, it reminded me a lot of Roquefort.. It's a bit strong on it's own so the tried and trusted black cherry conserve can to the rescue. Pretty damned good stuff.
Anyway, I can tell you this - it gets plus points for slightly erotic dreams, but minus points because they were pretty weird. Maybe that's just the mindset I was in that night. I dunno.. I'm thinking a cocktail of cheeses might be required to tailor dreams to specific outcomes. Perhaps Gorgonzola and Gruyère? Will the dream tempering effects of the Gruyère take away the weirdness and make it all lovely and nice? I will let you know. In the meantime... Gruyere gets:
6/10
If my next testing results in less weirdness... maybe I'll upgrade it to a 7.
Thursday, 23 December 2010
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
Gruyère
"A pleasant morning to you my good man! I think I'll have 100g of some milk that's been curdled by the extracts of an animals stomach then left in a cave for several months, possibly years!"
And behold! I was in possession of some fine Gruyère. Slightly nutty tasting, just like it said on the label! Delicious. But sadly, completely useless as a conduit to the astral plane.
Because it tasted so nice though, I can't bare to give it a 0, so... it gets:
1/10
And behold! I was in possession of some fine Gruyère. Slightly nutty tasting, just like it said on the label! Delicious. But sadly, completely useless as a conduit to the astral plane.
Because it tasted so nice though, I can't bare to give it a 0, so... it gets:
1/10
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
Roquefort bites back..
So when I woke up this morning it was on the back of a very weird dream. I was on an aeroplane, possibly flying it though.. perhaps on top of it (I can't really read my delirious scrawlings from my notepad). More significantly my feet were totally messed up.. it was like my toes had big chunks missing out of them. Like they'd been hollowed slightly. But the thing is I knew they'd be OK and probably heal up all right, I just needed a bit of time out to let them recover.
SO there you have it. Perhaps Roquefort has a cumulative effect? Perhaps two nights of Roquefort was what was required? What enlightenment have I gained from this cheese board of acumen? Well that one I have to ponder over...
In the meantime, do I revise my grade of 3 for the Roquefort? I think a retrial is in order. I shall wait a week or two and do it again.
Stay tuned my cheese fiends!
SO there you have it. Perhaps Roquefort has a cumulative effect? Perhaps two nights of Roquefort was what was required? What enlightenment have I gained from this cheese board of acumen? Well that one I have to ponder over...
In the meantime, do I revise my grade of 3 for the Roquefort? I think a retrial is in order. I shall wait a week or two and do it again.
Stay tuned my cheese fiends!
Monday, 8 November 2010
Roquefort
If old socks tasted delicious, then this is what they would be!
I found myself an unpasteurised sample. It looked ridden with tasty clumps of green mould.. I sampled it on it's own. Pretty good, but this bad boy needed something to go with it. I had it on some Finn Crisps (they're a bit like a thin Ryvita) with.. wait for it... Black Cherry Conserve. The conserve just came to me in a flash of inspiration. It was the best damn cracker I've had in a long time. I recommend it.
Anyway, so here's your Roquefort factoids - first one is an excerpt from Wikipedia:
Legend has it that the cheese was discovered when a youth, eating his lunch of bread and ewes' milk cheese, saw a beautiful girl in the distance. Abandoning his meal in a nearby cave, he ran to meet her. When he returned a few months later, the mould (Penicillium roqueforti) had transformed his plain cheese into Roquefort.
Fascinating stuff, I'll think you'll agree. And I think we all know where this penicillium roqueforti came from. That's right. From the cave.
Second factoid: Blue Stilton is made with the same mould. Is this mould responsible for cheese dreams? Was the test last night a success?
In short, no. I vaguely remember that I had a dream but I have no idea what it was about. I am, however, retesting tonight. Mostly because I am in bed right now and I had a lot left over and I just ate loads of crackers with the rest of the Roquefort and the black cherry conserve. Seriously, that stuff was amazing.
Anyway, I am giving Roquefort...
3/10
I did dream something. Maybe. Check back tomorrow for the results of the retesting...
I found myself an unpasteurised sample. It looked ridden with tasty clumps of green mould.. I sampled it on it's own. Pretty good, but this bad boy needed something to go with it. I had it on some Finn Crisps (they're a bit like a thin Ryvita) with.. wait for it... Black Cherry Conserve. The conserve just came to me in a flash of inspiration. It was the best damn cracker I've had in a long time. I recommend it.
Anyway, so here's your Roquefort factoids - first one is an excerpt from Wikipedia:
Legend has it that the cheese was discovered when a youth, eating his lunch of bread and ewes' milk cheese, saw a beautiful girl in the distance. Abandoning his meal in a nearby cave, he ran to meet her. When he returned a few months later, the mould (Penicillium roqueforti) had transformed his plain cheese into Roquefort.
Fascinating stuff, I'll think you'll agree. And I think we all know where this penicillium roqueforti came from. That's right. From the cave.
Second factoid: Blue Stilton is made with the same mould. Is this mould responsible for cheese dreams? Was the test last night a success?
In short, no. I vaguely remember that I had a dream but I have no idea what it was about. I am, however, retesting tonight. Mostly because I am in bed right now and I had a lot left over and I just ate loads of crackers with the rest of the Roquefort and the black cherry conserve. Seriously, that stuff was amazing.
Anyway, I am giving Roquefort...
3/10
I did dream something. Maybe. Check back tomorrow for the results of the retesting...
Saturday, 6 November 2010
Stilton
The obvious choice to start with is Cheddar. I, however, decided on some nice mature Stilton from Marks & Spencers because I was there and it was there.
Interestingly enough, Stilton happens to be a cheese regularly associated with dreams. A quick bit if googling reveals that the British Cheese Board conducted a survey on Stilton and it's effects on dreaming, with the majority of people experiencing odd and vivid dreams after just a 20g helping before bed time. There's an article on this in Wikipedia, and also a poem!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stilton_cheese#Effect_on_dreaming
20g? That's nothing! I went for 50, and here are my findings:
It tasted quite nice. The rind gave a real sucker punch of flavour and benefited from a swig of port. It was creamy, slightly nutty and has a long lasting after taste. Possibly not the most sociable of cheeses! I readied my self for bed, hit the sack, and opened my mind to the delivery of the secrets of the universe through the conduit of Stilton....
I haven't had many dreams of late, and certainly none in past several days. I can report however that I DID dream that night though it wasn't a particularly vivid dream.. Something to do with being in a car and there was something about the wind screen. And some other stuff happened.
So there we have it. Conclusive, indisputable proof. Stilton does possibly improve your chances of dreaming, but not by much.
Verdict:
5/10
Interestingly enough, Stilton happens to be a cheese regularly associated with dreams. A quick bit if googling reveals that the British Cheese Board conducted a survey on Stilton and it's effects on dreaming, with the majority of people experiencing odd and vivid dreams after just a 20g helping before bed time. There's an article on this in Wikipedia, and also a poem!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stilton_cheese#Effect_on_dreaming
20g? That's nothing! I went for 50, and here are my findings:
It tasted quite nice. The rind gave a real sucker punch of flavour and benefited from a swig of port. It was creamy, slightly nutty and has a long lasting after taste. Possibly not the most sociable of cheeses! I readied my self for bed, hit the sack, and opened my mind to the delivery of the secrets of the universe through the conduit of Stilton....
I haven't had many dreams of late, and certainly none in past several days. I can report however that I DID dream that night though it wasn't a particularly vivid dream.. Something to do with being in a car and there was something about the wind screen. And some other stuff happened.
So there we have it. Conclusive, indisputable proof. Stilton does possibly improve your chances of dreaming, but not by much.
Verdict:
- Definite increase in dream activity
- Not particularly revealing about the secrets of the universe
5/10
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Incidentally...
Have spent some time researching the topic* and reviewing the numerous variables involved in such an experiment the conditions I will be subjected to are outlined below:
*10 minutes in google
- Quantity of cheese consumed will be approximately 50g. That sounds like a reasonable amount.
- The cheese must be eaten with it's rind whenever possible. Some cheese wont have rind, or I wont be able to get it, so you know. What can I do?
- Crackers will be permitted. Probably Ryvitas.
- Port is definitely Ok, as it is scientificly proven to be tasty with cheese.
- I considered doing the experiment using cheese as a suppository for the increased absorbence into the system that suppositories provide. I have decided to stick to the traditional method of cheese ingestion.
- Sherry is OK too, but not as OK as port. Only really to be used when the port is out of reach.
- I think I'm going to join a gym.
- There was something else but I can't remember what it was.
- I just remembered. Yeah so grilling the cheese could change it's properties somewhat. I may extend the experiment into this area at some point. I'll see how it goes.
- Also is in the event of success, the SAME cheese will be retested a week after the initial experiment in order to ascertain it's reliability as a medium into the subconscious and my Shamanic trances
*10 minutes in google
The quest begins!
Today is the day that my important research begins! Armed with myths, a cheese book lent to me by friend, and of course, some cheese, I will tonight begin conducting this important scientific experimentation into the effects of cheese on sleep and dreams. I am using myself as a subject, since my application to the government for a grant to finance my research was sadly unsuccessful.
I'm sure most people have heard that cheese can improve your likelihood of dreaming (or remembering your dreams) and over the course of the coming weeks and months the world will know conclusively the truth behind the myths. Cheese is also often attributed to horrendous nightmares so I'll let you know how that works out too..
Speaking of which, and sidetracking slightly, once, several years ago, I had a lot of trouble sleeping for various reasons. So one day I went down to waitrose and bought myself some night milk or sleepy milk or something of that nature, where they milk the cows at night. The idea is the milk has more melatonin in it, therefore you sleep better. I've never had such vivid, torturous nightmares in all my life. I never touched the stuff again. Just so you know.
Also I will be practising the art of lucid dreaming as I can kill two birds in one stone here. In case you don't know, lucid dreaming is supposedly where you realise you are dreaming but can then take control of your dreams and shape them in any way you want. If you've ever hit the point in a dream that you realise you are dreaming then woken up almost straight away afterwards, that's the sweet spot. Just don't wake up, and an army of leggy models are going to be your sole companions on your long trip out to Betelgeuse..
Apparently you can dream lucidly every night, the trick is to have a 'trigger' in your dream that tells you.. this is a dream. It could be a banana wearing a hat, a green sheep, whatever. Or, perhaps, even.... Cheese!
I'm sure most people have heard that cheese can improve your likelihood of dreaming (or remembering your dreams) and over the course of the coming weeks and months the world will know conclusively the truth behind the myths. Cheese is also often attributed to horrendous nightmares so I'll let you know how that works out too..
Speaking of which, and sidetracking slightly, once, several years ago, I had a lot of trouble sleeping for various reasons. So one day I went down to waitrose and bought myself some night milk or sleepy milk or something of that nature, where they milk the cows at night. The idea is the milk has more melatonin in it, therefore you sleep better. I've never had such vivid, torturous nightmares in all my life. I never touched the stuff again. Just so you know.
Also I will be practising the art of lucid dreaming as I can kill two birds in one stone here. In case you don't know, lucid dreaming is supposedly where you realise you are dreaming but can then take control of your dreams and shape them in any way you want. If you've ever hit the point in a dream that you realise you are dreaming then woken up almost straight away afterwards, that's the sweet spot. Just don't wake up, and an army of leggy models are going to be your sole companions on your long trip out to Betelgeuse..
Apparently you can dream lucidly every night, the trick is to have a 'trigger' in your dream that tells you.. this is a dream. It could be a banana wearing a hat, a green sheep, whatever. Or, perhaps, even.... Cheese!
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